Soooo, Grace hasn't had the best first week of school. With the second day of school she was moved for talking, then last week she got a note home for hitting another student and that is not the only part, in her note she said that this wasn't the only time Grace couldn't keep her hands to herself, here's where the UGH came in at. I am torn! I was really upset to see that Grace had a note sent home in the 1st week of school. The reason was basically that Grace brought a hula hoop out to play with and when she laid it down to play with something else another child picked it up and Grace came back for it and got upset and hit her. UGH!!!
We have seen this kind of behavior with Grace and Izabelle when they play together, but I just thought it was a sibling thing. But now she is taking it to the playground...UGH!!! When she told me what had happen, I was very disappointed and I told Grace that not only did she hurt that child, but she hurt her own heart and God. Am I wrong for saying that? I wanted to let her know that she is not the only one that pays for the things she does. Also, I told her that she needed to go to her room as soon as we got home, she needed to pray for forgiveness and direct her heart to love. When she got home she did as I ask without throwing a fit, so I was happy about that. She was only allowed out of her room for supper and shower, so she actually wasn't in her for the whole time, then she went to bed earlier than usual. The next morning she said she was going to tell the child she hit sorry and her teacher, now I don't know if she did that or not.
She is still having some of the sibling rivalry things, but it was subsided somewhat, now I have to work on Izabelle she likes to swat or pinch...UGH!!!!
I just feel really bad that Grace has done this and now Izabelle is starting to act this way too. I feel like I am the worst mom and that I didn't do my job well enough when she was younger. I keep asking "Where did I go wrong at", "I should have stayed home with her", "Why did I start working full time"...UGH!!!! Why didn't I realize what was going on or only if I would have done things I know now, then maybe things would be different.
So, mom's out I am asking for some advice on what type of discipline that you use with your child when they act out aggressively or have tantrums that could possibly work for us.
Because apparently what I am doing is not working, I have talked, until I turned blue in the face, time outs galore, and/or spanked. Grace is old enough to know that if she gets in trouble at another location that she will get punished when she gets home, now Izabelle on the other hand she looks at me in that "what'd I do". So, it's hard to punish her when we are in the middle of WalMart, but I have done it.
Until Next Time...
God Bless
Jess
4 comments:
Every home is different...but what works for my girls is to punish them as soon as it happens! Take them away from the situation and make them go to a spot. If they're having a problem with hitting, then I'm sure spanking or hitting them won't work LOL So have a time-out chair or corner they have to go to and keep them there for the amount of minutes they are old....so Hunter gets 9 minutes in the corner and Alli Jo gets 3. But I wouldn't let them hit or pinch each other even though they're sisters....b/c they might not understand they can't do that in public. Just pray about it! Find what works for you guys and you'll be getting great reports back from school!
You're right...taking her away from the party was probably a good idea b/c she realized how serious it was. Maybe getting in trouble at school will make her realize it's not just mommy that thinks it's wrong to do those things. It seems as though with Hunter she is WAY better at school then home :)
I would keep trying, we can only do so much as mommies. My sister is dealing with my nephew right now biting...OUCH!
Oops, Leah I deleted my comment, but you are right. I guess I am having such a big problem with this now, because she didn't have anything like this in preschool, at least that I know of. The teachers never said anything. Grace bit one or two times in daycare when she was about 2. Izabelle has a problem with pinching. Oh, the joys of motherhood.
Jess- first of all, all kids act out, regardless of your parenting. I do not think it was wrong for you to tell Grace that she hurt herself and God. I tell Brycen that pretty much everytime he is really bad. I tell him about Jesus getting nails in his hands so that we can go to Heaven and that each time we do something Jesus doesn't like it's like we're putting more nails in his hands. Brycen really seems to understand that... it doens't make him quit being bad, he def. still acts up, but he will ask about it later so at least I know I'm driving the point home somwhere in that thick head! It's so hard to be consistent and I'm def. not very good at it, but they say that's what works best... consistancy w/ whatever you do.
We are having problems with Brycen not listening to us at all. It doesn't matter how much we talk, yell, spank, take stuff away he is a very strong willed and stubborn child and he does what he wants despite knowing that he is going to be in trouble. It is very very frustrating! We have no problems at school so far... his teachers seem to think he's an angel... which is actually more frustrating b/c I KNOW he can be good all day at school, why can't he do the same at home?!
We're all in this together as parents and christians... I'll be praying for you and Grace too! No matter what don't let yourself feel like failure. You love your girls enough to punish them and care when they get in trouble, that says a lot right there.
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